On Being Stoned
Charles T. Tart, Ph. D.
Chapter 13. Sexuality
GIVEN THE COMMON American stereotype of the "sex-crazed dope
fiend," it is interesting to see what effects on sexuality
are perceived by marijuana users themselves.
MAJOR EFFECTS
Desire for Sex
A common effect is "My sexual drive goes up when stoned;
I have more need for sex" (18%, 21%, 28%, 21%, 12%).
This may begin to occur at the Moderate to Strong levels of intoxication
(11%, 25%, 32%, 8%, 2%). Users of Psychedelics experience this
at lower levels of intoxication (p <.0005), as does
the Therapy and Growth group (p <.05, overall).
The converse effect "I have much less sexual drive when
stoned; it's difficult to arouse me even in a situation which
would normally arouse me" is rare (42%, 34%, 15%, 5%,
2%). When it occurs, it is at the strong levels and higher (6%,
11%, 17%, 13%, 7%). The Professionals experience this loss of
sexual need at lower levels of intoxication (p <.05).
A very common effect is "I have no increase in sexual
feelings unless it's a situation that I would normally be sexually
aroused in, and then the sexual feelings are much stronger and
more enjoyable" (7%, 11%, 27%, 23%, 24%). Users of Psychedelics
report this more frequently (p <.05) than Non-users.
It generally occurs at Moderate to Strong levels (17%, 28%, 27%,
8%, 2%).
 |
Figure 13-1.
DESIRE FOR SEXUAL INTERCOURSE
Note.—For guide to interpreting the "How Stoned" graph,
see note on Figure 6-1.
|
The relationships of these three alterations of sexual need are
plotted in Figure 13-1. Sexual need going up when the situation
is appropriate is reported more frequently than need per se going
up (p <.01), and sexual need per se going up is more
frequent than its going down (p <<.0005). Most of
my informants commented that sexual drive or need
does not go up, but rather the knowledge of how intensely gratifying
sex is when intoxicated serves to make any perceived sexual drive
more attention getting and desirable when intoxicated.
With respect to levels of intoxication, they are the same for
sexual desire per se going up and for sexual desire going up when
the situation Is appropriate, but sexual desire going down occurs
at higher levels of intoxication (p <.01 with respect
to desire per se, p <.0005 with respect to desire in
appropriate situations). My informants indicate that sexual intercourse
at very high levels of intoxication can be an ecstatic, overwhelming
experience, but at these levels chances are good that the user
will be absorbed in his own inner experiences and not get interested
in making love with someone.
Contact with Partner
A very common experience is "When making love, If eel
I'm in much closer mental contact with my partner; it is much
more a union of souls as well as bodies" (9%, 9%, 31%,
20%, 25%). This closeness occurs more frequently among Users of
Psychedelics (p <.0005) and the College-educated (p
<.05). It generally begins to be experienced at the Moderate
and Strong levels (7%, 27%, 35%, 9%, 3%). The Heavy Total users
and the Daily users both experience this closeness at lower levels
of intoxication (p <.05 in each case).
 |
Figure 13-2.
MENTAL CONTACT WHILE MAKING LOVE
Note.—For guide to interpreting the "How Stoned" graph,
see note on Figure 6-1.
|
The converse effect, "When making love, I feel rather
isolated from my partner; I'm wrapped up in my intensified sensations
and not really very aware of my partner's reactions and feelings"
occurs infrequently (25%, 29%, 28%, 7%, 2%) and at Strong levels
(5%, 13%, 25%, 15%, 7%). Feeling isolated from one's sexual partner
occurs much less frequently than feeling closer (p <<
.0005) and at higher levels of intoxication (p <.05),
as shown in Figure 13-2.
Qualities of Orgasm
One of the factors that enhance love-making when intoxicated on
marijuana is the characteristic effect, "Sexual orgasm
has new qualities, pleasurable qualities, when stoned"
(6%, 9%, 22%, 27%, 28%). This occurs somewhat less often, albeit
still very frequently, for the Meditators (p <.01,
overall) and the Professionals (p <.01). Most users
experience these new qualities of orgasm by the Strong level of
intoxication (8%, 21%, 37%, 8%, 8%).
Among the various qualities potentially going into orgasm enhancement
that my informants are able to describe, one or several of the
following may be experienced as part of an orgasm when intoxicated:
(I) prolongation of orgasm (possibly an effect of time slowing);
(2) feelings of energy flowing and/or exploding or erupting in
the body; (3) feelings of energy interchange with one's sexual
partner, both flows before orgasm and explosive interchanges through
the genitals and whole body during orgasm; (4) absolutely total
immersion in the orgasm, no distractions of any sort; (5) the
orgasm taking place as ecstatic sensations through most of the
body rather than being confined to the genital area; (6) merging
of identity with one's sexual partner during orgasm, with a sharing
of sensation and joy; (7) feelings that the energy interchange
during orgasm balances and replenishes each partner's own vital
energies, rather than depleting them—more so than when not intoxicated;
(8) greater awareness of the bodily feelings leading up to orgasm,
with a consequent ability to time one's movements in a way that
will maximize the pleasurable qualities of the orgasm; (9) the
ego temporarily disappearing, the body taking over, the orgasm
happening rather than being produced; and (10) the feeling that
the orgasm (and shared feelings with the sexual partner) are happening
on a much vaster, wider scale than those consciously experienced,
that this is an event of much greater magnitude or significance
than the ego is able to sense or comprehend.
 |
Figure 13-3.
ORGASM AND RELATED SENSATIONS
Note.—For guide to interpreting the "How Stoned" graph,
see note on Figure 6-1.
|
Because a number of informants indicated they are aware of what
seems to be organ sensations in genitals and gut that are normally
not in awareness, it is interesting to compare this report of
new qualities to sexual orgasm with two more general changes in
sensation, namely, touch sensations taking on new qualities (Chapter
8) and becoming aware of internal organs and processes that are
normally not accessible to consciousness (Chapter 11). The relationships
are plotted in Figure 13-3. New qualities of orgasm do not occur
more frequently than new touch qualities, but they do occur much
more frequently than awareness of normally unsensed internal organs
(p <<.0005). New touch qualities begin to occur
at lower levels of intoxication than orgasm enhancement (p
<.05), and increased awareness of internal organs at higher
levels than orgasm enhancement (p <.0005). Apparently
the sheer intensity of sexual orgasm may result in internal organ
sensations connected with it that ordinarily occur at higher levels
of intoxication.
Related Effects
There are a number of related intoxication phenomena, dealt with
in preceding and subsequent chapters, that indicate, in conjunction
with pilot interview data and comments of informants, some other
specific ways in which sexual contact and intercourse can be altered.
These will be briefly listed below.
"... sensual quality to vision..." (Chapter
6). Looking at one's lover can be like touching him or her.
"... face of another... will change even as I watch
it..." (Chapter 6). One woman can become another woman,
many women, all women, Woman.
"Touch sensations take on new qualities..."; ".
.. touch more exciting, more sensual..."; "...
surfaces feel smoother, silkier..."; and ".
.. surfaces rougher... graininess forms interesting patterns
..." (Chapter 8). All of these changes in touch quality
apply particularly to a lover's garments, skin, hair, mouth, genitals.
"Taste... new qualities..." and "Smell
... new qualities..." (Chapter 8) apply to kissing
and oral-genital contacts.
"I empathize tremendously... feel what they feel.
.." (Chapter 12). Your lover's joy is your joy; your
lover's pain is your pain.
"... so absorbed... in a person... felt as if
I were that... person..." (Chapter 18). Total blending,
merging with one's lover.
"Some events become archetypal, part of the basic way
man has always done things..." (Chapter 18). Instead
of John Smith and Mary Jones making it in John's apartment in
California on a particular night, Man and Woman Blend Together,
in Now and Eternity, Here and Everywhere, an integral part of
the Blending of Maleness and Femaleness of the Universe.
Note also that sexual fantasy, as well as real sexuality, can
be markedly enhanced by marijuana intoxication. Imagery in all
sensory modalities is generally enhanced, so fantasy preceding
actual sexual contact or masturbation can be much more intense
and exciting than ordinarily. New and pleasurable qualities to
orgasm can occur with masturbation as well as actual sexual contact.
My informants indicate, however, that as greatly enhanced as fantasy
and masturbation are, that enhancement generally does not begin
to compare to the enhancement of real sexuality.
Being a Better Lover
The final item dealing with sexuality was "I feel as if
I'm a better person to make love with when stoned." This
is a common experience (26%, 12%, 20%, 12%, 20%). Although many
users (44 percent) did not rate the minimal level of intoxication
for this, those who did generally considered it a Moderate-to
Strong-level effect (8%, 15%, 20%, 9%, 3%). The College-educated
indicated higher levels of intoxication for this than the Professionals
(p <.05).
The users were asked to explain why they were a better
person to make love with when high on marijuana. Thirty-nine males
and twenty-one females wrote brief explanations. These have been
summarized in several categories in Table 13-1.[1] The number
of users giving particular reasons is broken down by males and
females, and by those of each sex who indicate Rarely/Sometimes
or Very Often/Usually for categorizing themselves as a better
lover when intoxicated.
TABLE 13-1
REASONS FOR BEING A BETTER LOVER
| QUALITY | NUMBER OF MALES | NUMBER OF FEMALES |
|---|
| Rly/Smt | VyO/Uly | Rly/Smt | VyO/Uly |
|---|
|
| Less inhibited, more arousable | 6 | 6 | 5 | 6 |
More contact with, responsiveness
to lover, gentler, more giving | 6 | 17 | 5 | 12 |
| More sensual, stronger sensations, feelings | 2 | 7 | 2 | 2 |
| More control, capacity, coordination | 5 | 4 | 0 | 1 |
| More here-and-now, archetypal, spontaneous | 3 | 4 | 0 | 1 |
| Prolonged duration of love-making | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 |
| Harder, longer-lasting erection | 0 | 1 | - | - |
| Miscellaneous | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
|
1. Note that this table includes one or more answers from each
user, and so is not amenable to valid statistical treatment. A
valid table, using the main or first answer of each user only,
was prepared, but as no differences between males and females
reach statistical significance, it will not be presented here.
The first category, less inhibited, more arousable, represents
answers such as the following: "... generally more open
to my partner, less inhibited by sexual conventions...";
or "I'm usually somewhat inhibited when straight but not
when stoned..."; or "... many of my inhibitions
and petty thoughts are transcended by a much stronger desire to
unite deeply with my partner"; or "Because I'm
grooving to it more, because I'm frigid and when stoned I get
close to coming, I'm more willing to experiment and please the
other person."
It is important to clarify the above descriptions of reduction
of sexual inhibitions by noting that my pilot interview subjects
and later informants all commented to the effect that this reduction
was not an aphrodisiac effect in the usual understanding of the
word. Rather it was a selective lowering of inhibition. If the
situation was appropriate, if the user really wanted sexual relations
with someone else, marijuana would lower inhibitions; but if someone
the intoxicated user does not like to be with attempts seduction
or sexual manipulation, they will seem even more repulsive and
undesirable than normally.
By far the most frequent reason for being a better lover when
intoxicated, especially if the sexual partner is also intoxicated
on marijuana, is feelings of tremendously enhanced contact
with one's partner, sharing of feelings, being more sensitive,
gentle, giving. A poignant expression of this was given by an
eighteen-year-old male student: "When I am stoned and making
love, sometimes I can be so much a part of my partner that it
hurts and makes me feel very alone when we are apart...";
or "My own sensations are so acute that I want the person
I love to feel it also..."; or "I feel closer physical
and mental communication (actually both become one)."
The third category, increased sensuality and intensity
of sensations, has already been illustrated above.
More control, capacity, or coordination is expressed in
such comments as "... my movements are relaxed, confident
..."; or "My actions are more fluid—heightened emotion
and passion..."; or "... can do much more because
I feel stronger..."; or "... can last as long as
I'm stoned without tiring..."
More here-and-now-ness, spontaneity, sometimes leading
to a totally archetypal experience is illustrated by: "The
act and the communion become reduced to the most basic and, at
the same time, expanded to the most elevated and consecrated form
of experience possible..."
Increased experiential duration of orgasm and increased
erectile potency are both illustrated by one student: "Potency
seems to be incredibly augmented, such that an infinite orgasm
could seem possible. I have had as many as seven orgasms in the
span of one night, having been extremely stoned. My organ seems
immense (when flaccid) and seems that it would swell to immeasurable
proportions... my erection seems to be harder than steel.
.."
Note however that 26 percent of the users indicated they were
never a better lover when intoxicated. As one user put it, "While
I find it rather more pleasurable than not (the act itself), I
feel that it is not complete somehow, because it becomes
a purely sensual thing. This feeling of sensuality is tremendously
vitalizing, but I find myself enjoying this so much that I wonder
if my partner is aware of it in me; I am not aware of his pleasure,
only my own, and this fact that neither of us can communicate
this to each other makes it a selfish act... We both prefer
not to have sex when stoned because of this." Another user,
who indicates he is sometimes a better lover when intoxicated,
points out the importance of direction of attention in this respect:
"When I'm stoned, sex seems more natural and less inhibited.
I seem to flow right into things—doing without thinking. But,
I have heard later from the chick (on occasions) that I was out
to gratify myself, not her. This type of self-gratification love-making
usually happens when I occasionally go on a grass ego-trip. But
there have been many times when we both are gratified; this result,
fortunately, is the more frequent."
ADDITIONAL EFFECT
"Sexual orgasm entails a strong feeling of physical union,
two making one flesh where I touch my partner" (Sometimes,
Maximum).
LEVELS OF INTOXICATION FOR SEXUAL EFFECTS
Various phenomena affecting or characterizing sexuality on marijuana
are summarized by level of intoxication in Figure 13-4. The overall
stratification by level is highly significant (p <<<
.0005).
Beginning at the Moderate to Strong levels, there is commonly
more desire for sex (especially if the situation is appropriate),
enhancement of sense qualities that add to sexual pleasure, especially
touch, and the feeling that one becomes a better lover, usually
with more feeling or empathy for one's sexual partner. At the
Strong level there are new qualities to orgasm and, rarely, the
desire for sex may diminish. If sexual desires are acted out,
though, rather than the user getting caught up in internal fantasies
and experiences, the sexual act becomes particularly profound
at this and higher levels. Actions may become archetypal, all
sorts of new sensations may arise from the body, and, near the
maximal levels, the sexual partners may experience merging with
one another, becoming one.
The potential sidetracking of sexual desires into a more general
form of intimate contact was well described by one female user:
"... If I am very stoned (especially if both of us are)
sometimes the mind just won't turn off, and even in the middle
of a kiss there may come an overwhelming sense of peanut butter,
roses, lakes, psychology, or goodness knows what. At times like
these—fortunately it has usually happened to both of us at the
same time—it is very pleasant just to talk and/or hold one another.
Sexual attraction has become replaced or become less important
than affection and simple contentment in the other's nearness...."
FIGURE 13-4.
INTOXICATION LEVELS, SEXUAL EFFECTS
| Just | Fairly | Strongly | Very
Strongly | Maximum |
|
Type size code:
CHARACTERISTIC
COMMON
INFREQUENT
Rare |
|
| | | MERGE WITH ANOTHER |
| | FACES CHANGE |
| NEW SENSATIONS FROM INTERNAL ORGANS |
| ACTIONS BECOME ARCHETYPAL |
| | | | | SENSUAL QUALITY TO VISION |
| | | | FEEL ISOLATED |
| | | | Less ned for sex |
| | | | NEW QUALITIES TO ORGASM |
| | | NEW QUALITIES TO SMELL |
| | | SURFACES FEEL GRAINIER, INTERESTING |
| | | BETTER LOVER THAN WHEN STRAIGHT |
| | | CLOSER CONTACT WITH PARTNER IN MAKING LOVE |
| | | NEW QUALITIES TO TOUCH |
| | | SURFACES SEEM SMOOTHER, SILKIER |
| | | TOUCH MORE SENSUAL |
| | | MORE NEED FOR SEX |
| | | EMPATHIZE TREMENDOUSLY WITH OTHERS |
| | | MORE NEED FOR SEX IF SITUATION APPROPRIATE |
| | NEW TASTE QUALITIES |
|
| Just | Fairly | Strongly | Very
Strongly | Maximum |
MODULATING FACTORS
All the background factors affecting sexuality had relatively
linear effects. They are summarized in Table 13-2. An interesting
pattern seems to distinguish the group with much drug experience
from the more educated group. The high drug experience group reports
increased frequency of a variety of sensual enhancements and closeness
to their sexual partners, while the more educated group does not
have as much sensual experience, but has some of it at lower levels
of intoxication, as well as reporting themselves to be better
lovers at lower levels. The more educated group also experiences
increased closeness to their sexual partners less frequently.
This may reflect a generation gap in some ways, as the more educated
are generally older than the rest of the users in the present
sample, and may have many more inhibitions about sensuality and
sexuality.
TABLE 13-2
EFFECTS OF BACKGROUND FACTORS ON SEXUALITY
| BACKGROUND FACTORS | EFFECTS |
|---|
| More Drug Experience | More frequent:
Actions become archtypal
New smell qualities
Faces change
Vision sensual
More need for sex if
sitution appropriate
Closer to partner
|
Less intoxicated for:
Vision sensual
More need for sex
Closer to partner |
| Males | More intoxicated for:
Actions become archetypal
Awareness of internal organs | |
| Meditators | More frequent:
Merge with another
Faces change | Less frequent:
New qualities to orgasm
|
| More Educated | | Less frequent:
Closer to partner
New qualities to orgasm
Surfaces rougher
Vision sensual
Less intoxicated for:
Merge with another
Surfaces rougher
Surfaces silkier
Need sex less
Better lover |
| Older | | Less intoxicated for:
Merge with another |
| Therapy & Growth | More intoxicated for:
New touch qualities
Touch more sensual | Less intoxicated for:
More need for sex
|
SUMMARY
For practically all experienced users, marijuana intoxication
greatly intensifies the sensations experienced in sexual intercourse.
A minority feel that this takes something important away from
sexual intercourse, namely, contact with their sexual partner
as they become immersed in their own intensified sensations. For
the great majority, however, marijuana seems to be the ideal aphrodisiac.
Sex is generally desired more, but with others who would be likely
sexual partners anyway; there is usually no drive toward sex unless
the overall situation seems right to the user. Desire is then
intensified, sexual sensations enhanced, and feelings of greater
contact, responsiveness, sharing, desire to give, and empathy
with one's sexual partner are often experienced.
While many aspects of human experience, particularly when intoxicated
on marijuana, are difficult to describe, my informants and the
user-respondents indicate this is particularly true for sexual
experience. So much is beyond words. The descriptions above deal
only with some of the partially describable aspects.